Chuck Norris Sues, Says Tears Don't Cure Cancer

Chuck Norris is suing Penguin Putnam and the author of the book and website The Truth About Chuck Norris, saying that the "facts" in the book are untrue, and might lead his fans astray.

Really, Chuck?

"Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he doesn't cry."

"Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra. The snake died 2 days later, in terrible pain."

"Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He pushes the world down."

All untrue? Say it ain't so!

I notice that it was okay for Mike Huckabee to say stuff like this in his political ad where Norris endorsed him. Was only that stuff true, Chuck? Or does it not matter if voters are confused and lied to, as long as they vote Republican?

Asshat.